Dashboard Confessional - Alter the Ending

So Dashboard Confessional released their sixth album, Alter the Ending this week and goddamn is it terrible.

The only thing good about this album is that it’s shamefully emo and great comic relief. That, and the track “I Know About You” is a blatant rip-off of the Gin Blossoms. I like the Gin Blossoms, but c’mon now. This album is a novelty produced by Butch Walker, which after his last album, I’m really not surprised (he’s also to blame for the new Weezer album, Raditude).

There’s only so many broken hearts and tramps you can sing about, Chris Carrabba. Either give up dating or stop making music about it. Pick one. Obviously, you’re terrible at both.

This album is full of weak vocals, unspirited guitar, and I’m pretty sure someone dug out a 1989 Casio keyboard from their parent’s basement. The kind that took DDD batteries. Honestly, on the first track, I thought that it wasn’t even Carrabba. I was wondering who the fuck the new frontman was. God, it’s comically terrible. When I listen to this album, I feel embarrassed for everyone involved. Who let this record be released?

This cracked me the fuck up yesterday. From Megan Ritt over at Consequence of Sound:

“‘Get Me Right’, the first track, starts out with a promisingly interesting guitar line, but descends quickly into sad and non-complex lyrics. This is exactly the kind of song that non-emo fans tease emo fans about, and the sad thing is, with this track, there’s really nothing the poor emo kid can say in his defense.”

I feel the same way…only about the entire album. Epic fail, Dashboard. D

Dashboard Confessional’s Site