Glee = EPIC FAIL

So, last night was the “Lady Gaga” (I use this term loosely) episode of Glee, “Theatricality”. I had never actually sat down and watched an episode of this show, but I figured, “Hey! I love Lady Gaga! This is gonna be awesome!”.

…not. So. Much.

How dare they use the name of Gaga to get ratings when they use TWO, count them, TWO songs, one of which was such a horribly butchered version of “Poker Face”, I just went to bed. That was the straw that broke the blogger’s back. I’m actually a little nauseous just thinking about it.

Glee‘s “Poker Face”:


Are you kidding me? THIS, “POKER FACE” is what you choose to sing with your MOTHER as some sort of incredible bonding experience? If I was your mother, I would beat the hell out of you for being such a jackass. I don’t know about you guys, but singing a duet with my mother involving anything even remotely related to “my muffin” does not sound like a good time. Do the makers of Glee even know the implications of that song?!

The only part of this show that is any good is the lovably stupid principal who things that all goth kids and Twilight fans are actual vampires. That guy, I like. And the weird Asian goth girl is okay. I want to love the weird, flamboyant gay kid, but no. Can’t even do that. In case you couldn’t tell, this show is epically cliche. You have: The Slutty Cheerleader, The Sassy Fat Black Girl, The Gay, The Sensitive Jock, The Asian Goth, The Handicapped Kid, and The Princess. Really? Hasn’t this been done to death already? John Hughes would kick your ass, Glee.

Glee‘s “Bad Romance”:


This one didn’t make a part of my soul die, thankfully. Nothing like “Poker Face”, but it’s certainly no Lady Gaga. This sounded like such a good idea once upon a time. I just lost an hour of my life to this show. Fool me once, Glee, fool me once…

I’ve learned my lesson: Glee = EPIC FAIL.

Oh No, It’s Spring (or, Welcome to My Quarter Life Crisis)

***WARNING: THIS POST IS FUELED BY EARLY MORNING CAFFEINE.***

Okay, so this situation is not solely limited to my 25th year, but that magic number seems to have made it a little bit worse.

Spring is upon us my friends, and with spring comes my insatiable urge to travel (and listen to ska), or simply to get the fuck out of Pittsburgh. I mean, I like Pittsburgh, I really do, but sometimes you just need a change of scenery. Also, it’s not helping that all of my friends are moving to Key West and I looooooove Key West.

I love booze, sunsets, and chickens. I just wish it wasn’t so stinking hot and/or didn’t have such giant bugs. I also wish that I could live there without a job, because that would be sweet. I don’t want to go outside in the daytime, dammit. I think I would melt…Wicked Witch style. What’s funny about this is the one thing I’m not worried about: hurricanes. Really. I am all about the hurricane party. Hell, we tried to have a hurricane party in Pittsburgh when Ivan came through. The first floor started to flood, so we went to the second floor, drank beer, and watched Finding Nemo. Really, not that worried. Key West is prepared for this kinda shit.

Wow, okay, so this is going to be the most random blog post, but I love the guy who works at the Cool Beans in my building. I seriously walked in there, told him that I didn’t know what I wanted, but that I wanted it to be “hot, sweet, and far too caffeinated…and big. Really, really big”. I am halfway through this concoction and I feel like I’m going to explode. GOOD MORNING!!!



Okay, so back to this spring/quarter life crisis thing. See, I grew up in a town where people never leave. It’s kind of ridiculous. Also, there’s this whole job thing. What is it about 25? Why do you all of a sudden feel like you need to know what you’re doing with your life RIGHT NOW? My job right now is pretty sweet, but it’s really not what I envision doing with my life. Also, I work for a giant boys club. Now, it’s not that I am saddened about my lack of man-junk, it’s just that I know that there is no room for growth here. It’s one of those things…what the hell’s that AA saying? Something about changing the things that you can and accepting the things you cannot? This is a “cannot” and I’m okay with that. I am super awesome at being an office wench, though. And what city ever doesn’t have offices? Any kind of offices really. I’ll make your coffee and order your supplies and generally make your office kick ass. That’s what I do.

Even when my computer dies, as it did on Friday, I will do everything in my power to make it better. I spent two days trying to get my information from my old hard drive to no avail. It was incredibly frustrating and currently I’m using a computer that I’m pretty sure was built in 1986. Know how many USB ports there are on this bad boy? Two. That’s right, two. I had to unplug my keyboard to upload the meager amount of music that I had on my MP3 player. I just went from around 40GB of music to…4GB. FOUR! Thank god it was all of my “essential albums”, so I have a good mix of great songs. Still, I kind of want to dropkick a baby.

Well anyway, to try to sate this crazy desire for something different, I’ve pierced my septum, cut off all of my hair, and gotten glasses. WHAT ELSE CAN I DOOOOO!?

What to do, what to do.
Holy shit, coffee.

Thank god for credit cards because I have a feeling I’m going to be purchasing last minute tickets to Key West. At least for a few days.




AAAAAAAAAAND: Just finished my giant cup of overly caffeinated goodness. My head might explode.

Boycott Ticketmaster!

So it’s been quite a while since I’ve actually purchased concert tickets…or tickets to anything for that matter, online. I always just got them at the door. What the fuck did I miss!? When we went to see Mike Doughty last Thursday, I went to the Ticketmaster website to see how much they were. Only $16! How affordable! Especially for a concert that I want to see so badly! Wrong. Oh so very, very wrong. $9 of charges per ticket. That’s more than half the fucking ticket price!
This is beyond ridiculous. Thankfully, I’ve found some other resources for concert tickets in the Pittsburgh area:


Dave’s Music Mine
Mr. Small’s Funhouse
Club Cafe
Garfield Artworks
The Rex
31st St. Pub
…and possibly more, those are just the one’s currently listed on their website.

The Exchange
Has tickets to most of the venues listed above, plus possibly more.

The Benedum
I know you =can buy tickets directly through their box office, as I did when we saw Tori Amos last year. I think you can do this with Heinz Hall as well.

The shame of it is, it’s not Ticketmaster’s fault that they’re a monopoly…it’s the fault of the venues and their exclusive contracts. Ticketmaster also gets no part of ticket sales, so here come the charges!

Service Charge – For the general service they provide.
Building Facility Charge – Determined by the venue, still raked in by Ticketmaster.
Processing Charge – ‘Cause we all know how expensive it is to send an email.
Shipping/E-Ticket/Will Call – Just because they can!

Often these fees are 30% to even 50% of the actual ticket price. What the fuck, Ticketmaster? And they get away with this by giving away million dollar sign-on bonuses to large venues. And it’s not even just music! Ticketmaster is the primary ticket seller for TWENTY SEVEN of thirty NHL teams and TWENTY EIGHT of thirty NBA teams. At least the MLB has gone with competitor, Tickets.com. From now on, I’m going to try my best to not support this monopoly any longer, or their subsidiaries:

Ticketmaster Ventures, Inc.
Ticketmaster Corp.
TMC Realty Holdings, Inc.
Ticketmaster Publications, Inc.
Ticketmaster Travel Corp.
TM/Video International, Inc.
Ticketmaster Advertising, Inc.
TMC Consultants, Inc.
Ticketmaster Tell Ltd.
Ticketmaster-Direct, Inc.
Cinema Acquisition Corp.
Ticketmaster Cinema Group, Ltd.
TM Movie Tix Holdings, Inc.
TM Marketing, Inc.
Ticketmaster Merchandising Corp.
Ticketmaster-Golf, Inc.
MFG Management Corp.
TM Flowers
TM National Flora LLC.
Instead, I’ll be going with the competitors:
LM Loyalty Management
Neighborhood Box Office
NEXT Ticketing
Prologue Systems
Tickets.com, Inc.

Further steps can also be taken. Urge your favorite artists/sports teams to not use Ticketmaster, along with your local venues. The less people who use them, the less power they’ll have to overcharge the masses.
In addition to monopolizing the ticket market and charging these ridiculous fees, Ticketmaster also has no regard for customer privacy. Directly from their website:

“By completing this registration form you indicate that you consent to Ticketmaster sharing your email address and other information with those who provide the event, and that you consent to those who provide the event using your information to contact you by email or other means to send you marketing or other messages or using or disclosing your information in other ways. By completing this registration form, you also indicate that you consent to Ticketmaster contacting you by email or other means to send you marketing or other messages and using and disclosing the information you submit, as described in the Ticketmaster Privacy.”

Why do we let them get away with shit like this!? Fuck Ticketmaster. I’m going with Tickets.com!

Rant: Drug Companies, Health Insurance, and Birth Control

So today, I went to my gynecologist for my mid-year checkup and to get more birth control. I get there to find out that the price for my birth control has MORE THAN DOUBLED. This is not through my insurance. My insurance pays for the office visit, but I buy the pills through the clinic. My birth control went from $12.50 per month to a staggering $25.50 per month. In a matter of six months! Fucking Christ! That’s $306 a year for birth control. I just keep reminding myself that it’s still cheaper than having a baby, but seriously, WTF!?

I have never understood health insurance not covering birth control, but covering shit like Viagra. Seriously. The cost of the average pregnancy/child rearing is WAY MORE THAN SOME FUCKING PILLS, buddy! Delivery alone, a normal, healthy delivery is estimated at $7,737, that’s TWO YEARS worth of birth control. That doesn’t even include all those doctor visits and prenatal care. That is delivery, provided that everything goes smoothly.

I did get a notice from my health insurance a little while ago telling me that they now “covered” birth control. Bull shit. My copay can be anywhere from $20 for generics to $150 for stuff like Seasonique. The one and only birth control that I have ever found that I actually liked (which I am not on because the clinic doesn’t have it) is $60 a month! I’ve just been sucking it up and taking something else because it was cheap and effective.

I’m going to have to call my health insurance later to make sure that it’s only going to be $20 per month, but if it is, I’ll start getting it through them. It may not seem like a lot, but that’s a savings of $66 over the course of the year.

It’s just so frustrating and I’ve hit this point of, “What can I do?”. Even going through a fucking clinic has become outrageously expensive. You know, you see these women with tribes of fucking children because they didn’t have the goddamn sense to use contraceptives, or if they did, they didn’t use it correctly and got pregnant anyway. I understand that no contraceptive has 100% effectiveness, and that the pill fails sometimes even if you do take it correctly, and for those women, I am truly sorry. But back to the beginning…where the fuck are these women getting the money to pay for all these children? Me. You. All the other fucking taxpayers. Because I have the fucking sense to take my birth control every day because I know that I do not want children, I pay out the ass.

And you know what fucking sucks? I would get a tubal ligation in a FUCKING HEARTBEAT and no doctor will do it because a.) I’m only 24 and b.) I don’t have any children. I will sign your fucking waivers, I will not sue you in the event that I decide I do want children (fat chance). It’s just so frustrating! It’s my fucking body, why can’t I do with it what I want to fucking do with it!? If fact, you can take ALL MY GODDAMN ORGANS! Give them to someone who wants them. Just give me some drugs so I don’t grow a mustache and I’ll be fucking golden!

I need to look into other forms of birth control I think. Rings and IUDs and patches and shots and that Mirena mushroom thing and just some other fucking options. Anyone have any comments about those? Have something full of hormones shoved in your vagina? If you do, let me know how it worked out for you.