So, as you can see, I'm still in the process of moving the blog over from Wordpress. Manually. All those importers suck. If you know of one that doesn't suck, let me know. In the meantime, have this absolutely hysterical review from the incredibly talented Dave Rahner. I just got this this morning and I've shot coffee out of my nose. Twice. Enjoy!
Ho.
Lee.
SHITFUCKGODDAMNCOCKSUCKINGMOTHERFUCKINGHELL!!!!! These are the words I use to describe a movie so spectacularly shitty, that, to save time, I have taken a cue from the nostalgia critic and made up a new word for it:
SHITACULAR!
Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? Seriously, I am now dumber from having watched this movie. I have forgotten how to write this movie is so SHITACULAR. I am actually dictating this whole review to my assistant, Anathema DeVice. The only reason I have escaped from going full blown Helen Keller was that I refused to pay for a ticket. I'd rather have people think I was going to go see Marmaduke the movie instead. At least the producers of the A-Team won't get royalties from me. That made me feel a bit better.
Just a bit.
I, I, I..... I don't even know where to begin. There are just sooooooooooooooo many things to hate with this movie. If I had to write about EVERYTHING I hated about this movie, I'd have to regrow the Amazon Rainforest, wait six thousand years, then chop the whole rainforest over again so I could have enough paper to cover it all. But, since I'm such a nice guy (reference needed) and BP has already done enough irreparable damage to this planet (ZING! Seriously, BP.... Fuck you guys), I'll just boil it down to the three thing that make the A-Team movie..... (wait for it, wait for it) SHITACULAR!!!!!
1 - Plot
2 - Characterization
3 - Heart
Now let's hurry up and get this over with quickly, I have to go see my anger management therapist ASAP.
As for the plot, the first half of this ridiculously stupid anal discharge, I mean "movie" is ALL setup. How, by sleight of hand and twist of fate, they all came together. This is only important for the victims, I mean viewers, that are too young to have seen or remember the T.V. series. I can understand that. In theory, anyways. What I don't understand is why they have to waste a whole half of a movie doing what the T.V. series did in 22 seconds without ever having showed it! Five minutes of interspersed flashbacks would have gotten the job done just as well in the hands of a halfway decent directive team.
So anyways, shit blows up. They go to jail. Shit blows up again. They escape. Shit blows up for a third, fourth, and fifth time. Nothing entertaining happens. Hollywood douche nozzles piss me off. Then I smash my face into the hand rail as an experiment to see which is less painful; that or this movie. The face smashing is less painful. Credits roll. Anyone with even a smidgen of cinematic taste looks pissed.
This movie relied waaaaaaaaaaaaay (I think that's enough A's, don't you?) too heavily on what is known as willing suspension of disbelief. Willing suspension of disbelief is what make movies happen. That for two hours you can believe a man can fly, that the geek gets the girl, or that there's an energy field created by all living thing that surrounds us and penetrates us and binds the galaxy together. The "A-Team," on the other hand, is to willing suspension of disbelief as a Catholic priest with a Michael Bay boxed set taped to his dick (that's on fire) is to the altar boy of our cherished memories of this T.V. series.
To save you the high dosage of brain damage that WILL occur when you see this SHITACULAR movie, here are some examples:
-Face can be set on fire while trapped in a stack of old tires and only come out looking slightly smudged and tanner.
-That escaped convicts can fly a in free fall by firing into it.
-That said escaped convicts in said tank can slam into a Norwegian fjord at terminally velocity minus the concussive of a firing M-1 Abrams and walk out alive instead of being turned into what would roughly look like Strawberry Smuckers with stale marshmallows in it.
Speaking of walking out, I did at this point. I just couldn't watch this for another hour. But, being the uber-macho man that I am, I smoked a cigarette, listened to 'The Touch' by Stan Bush, let my testicles drop, and marched back in there. Apparently, I'm a masochist. Even more ridiculous shit happens after that, but thanks to five shots of Jameson and several Yuenglings, I don't remember (There IS a God!!)
So that leads me to characterization. It's late; I'll make this easy. I'll describe the T.V. version, then the movie version.
John "Hannibal" Smith (T.V.) - Leader. Loves his men as sons. Master of disguise and an strategist on par with the Patton/Captain America hybrid I'm making in my kitchen. When things go wrong, can come up with a backup plan at the drop of a mohawk.
Hannibal Smith (Movie) - Precognition levels only surpassed by the motherfucking Phoenix Force from the X-Men comics. His only weakness is Deus Ex Machina.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck (T.V.) - Suave, sophisticated, business like con man/ ladies man. Womanizer, sure, but still very likable. We all had a friend like this in high school.
Faceman (Yes, his actual first name) Peck (Movie) - Pretty much a self - loathing lothario since Jessica Biel's character breaks his heart. The equivalent of an over-coked frat boy that just slid your little sister roofies then said (with perfectly manicure eyebrows arched) "I'll take reeeaal good care of her, brah!" who then, after 25 seconds of date rape, plays Halo and spends all night yelling "YEAH!!!!! I JUST PWND YOU, YOU FUCKING N00B FAG!!!!" We all knew a guy like this in college, and wanted to severely beat him.
B.A. Baracus (T.V.) - Mr. Fucking. T. End of story.
B.A. Baracus (Movie) - BECOMES A FUCKING PACIFIST PUSSY HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE!!!!! BLARGGGLEBRGAGKHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SONS OF BEEE-SHEEEE!!!!!!
And can apparently slide down a 50 story building like he was fucking Spider-Man or some shit.
Murdoch (T.V.) - Comic relief. Actually had you wondering if, much like the Joker, he was actually insane or just someone that enjoyed being himself THAT much.
Murdoch (Movie) - Just annoying. I don't care how good of a pilot he was. I would have shot him in two seconds.
Finally, we are at heart. This won't take long because this movie has none. Zip. Zero. Zilch (I love alliteration). What made the A-Team as a series great was that they always stuck their collective necks out for the little guy, no matter how close they were to being caught. It was even said in the opening:
"If you have a problem; if no one else can help....."
That's where this movie's failing is. You see, a name carries A LOT of authority with it. Certain expectations were to be met. If this movie was Mission: IMPOSSIBLE IV? Well, it still would have been SHITACULAR, but forgivingly SHITACULAR! But it's not Mission: IMPOSSIBLE IV!!!! It's the FUCKING A-TEAM!!!! And them having a movie that doesn't involve them helping out a beleaguered store owner or a small village that's being trampled on by the mafia or a Third World dictatorship just isn't right. It was a wholly selfish 'clear-our-names' story that couldn't even capture their own compassion for other human beings!
My last two comment on this movie are as such.
1: If you're going to make a movie based off of a T.V. series, then make it, oh, I don't know, ENTERTAINING!! You've done it right before, Hollywood! Stop prescribing to the Michael Bay Thorem of Let's Just Blow Shit Up!!! Dragnet, the Dukes of Hazzard, and, God help me, even Sex In The City were true to the source material, and therefore, their fans. Hire writers, directors, and producers that give a shit about the story, not the paycheck!!!!!!
2: Hollywood, you've awoken a dark evil in me. Something.... ancient. Something with the burning fierceness of a billion dark stars. The type of evil that can only be exorcised by a magical, jewel encrusted dagger made from the incisor of the last dragon. Watch yourself, because I'm watching you. And I AM going to get you.
Well, that pretty much wraps it up, I guess. It was pretty cathartic to rip this movie a new asshole so big it looked like a combination Goatse/Divided By Zero demotivational poster. I hope to do this again sometime real soon. In fact, I just got my next assignment. It is, let's see here, JONAH HEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! GOD DAMN IT ALL! (Editor's note: Sometime real soon has just been pushed back to the third of never. They're still trying to finish cleaning his brains from the ceiling. Services will be held at Hoffs/Drawler Funeral Parlor. Your condolences would be appreciated.)
Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
Monday, June 21, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hero 108 – Jumpy Ghost Face
That guy right there? Know what his name is? His name is Jumpy Ghost Face and I love him. I love him so much. So, very, much. Also, I’ve had a whole lot of coffee again this morning, so please forgive me…
So, there’s this new…ish (March 2010) show, Hero 108 on Cartoon Network and that’s where this little guy is from. Generally speaking, the show is about humans and animals trying to live in peace in the Hidden Kingdom, loosely inspired by the Chinese novel, Water Margin. It’s really not my kind of show, but I love Jumpy Ghost Face SO MUCH! SO MUCH IT KIND OF HURTS!
Voiced by Mark Drummond (GARU ON PUCCA! ZOMG! And more famously, I suppose, Vegeta from Dragonball Z), Jumpy Ghost Face is a badass ninja bunny with shuriken carrots and hand grenades and a bit of a daydreaming problem. He is my long lost child and fraternal twin of Turnip. I’m convinced. Plus, his name is Jumpy Ghost Face. Seriously.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Glee = EPIC FAIL
So, last night was the “Lady Gaga” (I use this term loosely) episode of Glee, “Theatricality”. I had never actually sat down and watched an episode of this show, but I figured, “Hey! I love Lady Gaga! This is gonna be awesome!”.
…not. So. Much.
How dare they use the name of Gaga to get ratings when they use TWO, count them, TWO songs, one of which was such a horribly butchered version of “Poker Face”, I just went to bed. That was the straw that broke the blogger’s back. I’m actually a little nauseous just thinking about it.
Glee‘s “Poker Face”:
Are you kidding me? THIS, “POKER FACE” is what you choose to sing with your MOTHER as some sort of incredible bonding experience? If I was your mother, I would beat the hell out of you for being such a jackass. I don’t know about you guys, but singing a duet with my mother involving anything even remotely related to “my muffin” does not sound like a good time. Do the makers of Glee even know the implications of that song?!
The only part of this show that is any good is the lovably stupid principal who things that all goth kids and Twilight fans are actual vampires. That guy, I like. And the weird Asian goth girl is okay. I want to love the weird, flamboyant gay kid, but no. Can’t even do that. In case you couldn’t tell, this show is epically cliche. You have: The Slutty Cheerleader, The Sassy Fat Black Girl, The Gay, The Sensitive Jock, The Asian Goth, The Handicapped Kid, and The Princess. Really? Hasn’t this been done to death already? John Hughes would kick your ass, Glee.
Glee‘s “Bad Romance”:
This one didn’t make a part of my soul die, thankfully. Nothing like “Poker Face”, but it’s certainly no Lady Gaga. This sounded like such a good idea once upon a time. I just lost an hour of my life to this show. Fool me once, Glee, fool me once…
I’ve learned my lesson: Glee = EPIC FAIL.
…not. So. Much.
How dare they use the name of Gaga to get ratings when they use TWO, count them, TWO songs, one of which was such a horribly butchered version of “Poker Face”, I just went to bed. That was the straw that broke the blogger’s back. I’m actually a little nauseous just thinking about it.
Glee‘s “Poker Face”:
Are you kidding me? THIS, “POKER FACE” is what you choose to sing with your MOTHER as some sort of incredible bonding experience? If I was your mother, I would beat the hell out of you for being such a jackass. I don’t know about you guys, but singing a duet with my mother involving anything even remotely related to “my muffin” does not sound like a good time. Do the makers of Glee even know the implications of that song?!
The only part of this show that is any good is the lovably stupid principal who things that all goth kids and Twilight fans are actual vampires. That guy, I like. And the weird Asian goth girl is okay. I want to love the weird, flamboyant gay kid, but no. Can’t even do that. In case you couldn’t tell, this show is epically cliche. You have: The Slutty Cheerleader, The Sassy Fat Black Girl, The Gay, The Sensitive Jock, The Asian Goth, The Handicapped Kid, and The Princess. Really? Hasn’t this been done to death already? John Hughes would kick your ass, Glee.
Glee‘s “Bad Romance”:
This one didn’t make a part of my soul die, thankfully. Nothing like “Poker Face”, but it’s certainly no Lady Gaga. This sounded like such a good idea once upon a time. I just lost an hour of my life to this show. Fool me once, Glee, fool me once…
I’ve learned my lesson: Glee = EPIC FAIL.
Friday, April 30, 2010
RIP: The Remix Manifesto
So I saw this on the Documentary Channel last night and it absolutely blew my mind. RIP: A Remix Manifesto, an open source documentary directed by Brett Gaylor, is two and a half hours of battling copyrights. It touches on medical equipment, music, art, bloggers, DJs, music piracy and more.
What I thought was incredibly funny was Girl Talk appearing in this. This guy went to my high school and now he’s out there face-fucking the RIAA. It’s pretty awesome. Also, totally didn’t know that he was a biomedical engineer. Also, pretty awesome. I was just having the conversation with my husband the other day of why I think it’s bullshit that you can patent medical equipment. Have we really become that greedy and paranoid that we would rather patent potentially life changing medical advances and make a buck than to improve the quality of life for millions of people?
Like the Brazilians. They’ve just said a big ‘ol “Fuck You” to the music industry and started doing their own thing. And what makes it all the better is that this revolution was started by their Minister of Cultural Affairs at the time, Giberto Gil. Some of the mixes being created down there are simply phenomenal. Things that you would never expected to be mashed up…well, there they are. I can’t remember who said it or what the exact quote was but it was something along the lines of the fact that there is not originality anymore. Originality is mixing two things that have never been mixed before.
Dan O’Neill is a fucking madman and I love him for it. The cartoonist and and founder of the Air Pirates, a group sued by the Walt Disney Corporation in the 70′s, still just can’t stop drawing that mouse doing decidedly un-Disney-like things, including dealing drugs and going down on a female companion. It’s hysterical actually, and it’s amazing what they’ve done to keep that mouse under wraps, but The Mouse Liberation Front lives on, 40 years later.
Also included was Jammie Thomas. Remember her? The single mother who made less than $4,000 annually, but the RIAA decided it would be okay to fine her $222,220 for uploading 24 songs to Kazaa? Yeah, that Jammie Thomas. It would take her the rest of her life to pay that off if she gave them every penny that ever came to her name. It’s ridiculous.
Copyrighting ideas is slowly ruining the creative future of the world. Check out this documentary. Watch it. Remix it. Share it. Enjoy it.
You can buy the DVD here, or you can find a torrent. Your choice.
Also, you can find the entire documentary in eleven-ish parts over on YouTube.
What I thought was incredibly funny was Girl Talk appearing in this. This guy went to my high school and now he’s out there face-fucking the RIAA. It’s pretty awesome. Also, totally didn’t know that he was a biomedical engineer. Also, pretty awesome. I was just having the conversation with my husband the other day of why I think it’s bullshit that you can patent medical equipment. Have we really become that greedy and paranoid that we would rather patent potentially life changing medical advances and make a buck than to improve the quality of life for millions of people?
Like the Brazilians. They’ve just said a big ‘ol “Fuck You” to the music industry and started doing their own thing. And what makes it all the better is that this revolution was started by their Minister of Cultural Affairs at the time, Giberto Gil. Some of the mixes being created down there are simply phenomenal. Things that you would never expected to be mashed up…well, there they are. I can’t remember who said it or what the exact quote was but it was something along the lines of the fact that there is not originality anymore. Originality is mixing two things that have never been mixed before.
Dan O’Neill is a fucking madman and I love him for it. The cartoonist and and founder of the Air Pirates, a group sued by the Walt Disney Corporation in the 70′s, still just can’t stop drawing that mouse doing decidedly un-Disney-like things, including dealing drugs and going down on a female companion. It’s hysterical actually, and it’s amazing what they’ve done to keep that mouse under wraps, but The Mouse Liberation Front lives on, 40 years later.
Also included was Jammie Thomas. Remember her? The single mother who made less than $4,000 annually, but the RIAA decided it would be okay to fine her $222,220 for uploading 24 songs to Kazaa? Yeah, that Jammie Thomas. It would take her the rest of her life to pay that off if she gave them every penny that ever came to her name. It’s ridiculous.
Copyrighting ideas is slowly ruining the creative future of the world. Check out this documentary. Watch it. Remix it. Share it. Enjoy it.
You can buy the DVD here, or you can find a torrent. Your choice.
Also, you can find the entire documentary in eleven-ish parts over on YouTube.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Christmas, Jools Holland, Iris Murdoch, and other unrelated things…
Happy belated Turkey Day everyone!
This may be the most discombobulated post ever.
It’s been CRAZY busy around here, with the holidays in full swing and all. I swear, the older I get, the more I hate Christmas. Can’t a girl just let out some inner Grinch!? Damn!
Anyway…Jools Holland owns my life. Seriously. This is a recent discovery and so far I’ve seen approximately one bajillion bands who I already love and discovered a few new ones as well. Just in the few episodes watched, I’ve seen Thom Yorke groove right the fuck out to Mary J. Blige, decided that Jamiroquai is now a dirty old man, and discovered that Cat Power is indeed better live than she is on recordings. Her cover of “New York New York” is fucking amazing.
Last night, after Jools (with JAMIROQUAI!), Ovation played Iris, the film portrayal of Iris Murdoch’s life, her writing, her battle with Alzheimer’s, and ultimately, her death. It’s a fantastic movie. And it has Judy Dench in it, who I love.
Check it out sometime.
Random thought of the day: Why are there so many songs about sweaters? Cake, the infamous Weezer, every goddamn Jack’s Mannequin song…? I love sweaters and all, but are they really that musically inspiring? Perhaps it’s the dramas of winter and what they represent. What makes you so important, sweater!?
Riding public transportation will do things like this to you.
Well, stay tuned folks. In the next few weeks there will be a review of Tori Amos‘ Midwinter’s Graces as well as an interview with Mikey Shanley, beach bum, DJ, and very good friend.
This may be the most discombobulated post ever.
It’s been CRAZY busy around here, with the holidays in full swing and all. I swear, the older I get, the more I hate Christmas. Can’t a girl just let out some inner Grinch!? Damn!
Anyway…Jools Holland owns my life. Seriously. This is a recent discovery and so far I’ve seen approximately one bajillion bands who I already love and discovered a few new ones as well. Just in the few episodes watched, I’ve seen Thom Yorke groove right the fuck out to Mary J. Blige, decided that Jamiroquai is now a dirty old man, and discovered that Cat Power is indeed better live than she is on recordings. Her cover of “New York New York” is fucking amazing.
Last night, after Jools (with JAMIROQUAI!), Ovation played Iris, the film portrayal of Iris Murdoch’s life, her writing, her battle with Alzheimer’s, and ultimately, her death. It’s a fantastic movie. And it has Judy Dench in it, who I love.
Check it out sometime.
Random thought of the day: Why are there so many songs about sweaters? Cake, the infamous Weezer, every goddamn Jack’s Mannequin song…? I love sweaters and all, but are they really that musically inspiring? Perhaps it’s the dramas of winter and what they represent. What makes you so important, sweater!?
Riding public transportation will do things like this to you.
Well, stay tuned folks. In the next few weeks there will be a review of Tori Amos‘ Midwinter’s Graces as well as an interview with Mikey Shanley, beach bum, DJ, and very good friend.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Jack’s Mannequin – Daily Show 11/19/09
So I actually stayed up to watch Jack’s Mannequin on the Daily Show last night, which is amazing for me because I’m prematurely elderly and go to sleep at 9:30 most nights. It was absolutely worth the lack of sleep.
Andrew McMahon’s voice is better than ever. The change from the album version to this live version are absolutely astounding. Both are amazing, but this version is just so… incredible.
I have a shameful emo girl crush on Andrew McMahon. And his goddamn hipster beard. I’m not even that into facial hair (unless it’s a soul patch) and for some reason, I just can’t get enough of the hipster beard. WTF is wrong with me!?
Alright, once again, I can’t get this video to embed for the life of me, so go check it out here.
You can check out the info on his documentary here and stalk him here and here. Seriously, go watch that video though, it will rock your socks clean off.
Andrew McMahon’s voice is better than ever. The change from the album version to this live version are absolutely astounding. Both are amazing, but this version is just so… incredible.
I have a shameful emo girl crush on Andrew McMahon. And his goddamn hipster beard. I’m not even that into facial hair (unless it’s a soul patch) and for some reason, I just can’t get enough of the hipster beard. WTF is wrong with me!?
Alright, once again, I can’t get this video to embed for the life of me, so go check it out here.
You can check out the info on his documentary here and stalk him here and here. Seriously, go watch that video though, it will rock your socks clean off.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
American Reporters Freed From North Korea /slash/ Current TV
As I’m sure you all know, American reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee have been released from captivity in North Korea and have returned home.
From BBC News:
Out of all of this, what totally blows my mind? Al Gore is the chairman of Current TV!? I fucking love Current. Not that I dislike Al Gore (except for the saving the polar bears part. Seriously, fuck polar bears), but now I just feel weird. How did I not know this before? Well, I guess they’re not going to cut into a show and just be like, “HEY! Al Gore owns us”!
Current is still freaking awesome though. In case you’ve missed the boat on that one, Current TV is an alternative news channel with a great deal of viewer created content. Everything from news to podcasts to commercials…they do it all.
Check it out sometime. It’s a nice change of pace from the regular news.
Current TV
From BBC News:
US journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee told their families they had no intention of entering North Korea when they went to the border with China to report on the plight of North Korean refugees.
But on 17 March they were seized by North Korean border guards and accused of illegally entering the country to carry out “hostile acts”.
After more than four months in captivity, a high-level visit from former US President Bill Clinton secured their release.
Euna Lee and Laura Ling are journalists with San Francisco-based Current TV, a media venture co-founded by former US Vice-President Al Gore.
Ms Ling, a 32-year-old California native, has experience covering the conflict in Sri Lanka, Brazilian slave labour and Iran’s underground youth culture.
Ms Lee, a 36-year-old South Korean-born US citizen, is an editor with Current TV.
From the time they were captured, the two women’s families urged the authorities in Pyongyang to release them, saying they were worried about the “mental state and wellbeing” of the pair.
In a joint statement, the families said Ms Ling suffered from an ulcer and that Ms Lee had a four-year-old daughter who was “displaying signs of anguish”.
“We believe that the three months they have already spent under arrest with little communication with their families is long enough,” the statement said.
While I am trying to remain hopeful, each day becomes harder and harder to bear. I am so lonely and scared
Laura Ling, in a letter home
Ms Ling’s husband, Iain Clayton, appeared on US TV networks and read out a letter she had written from captivity: “While I am trying to remain hopeful, each day becomes harder and harder to bear. I am so lonely and scared.”
Their hopes appeared dashed in early June when a quick trial saw them convicted and sentenced to 12 years of “reform through labour”.
‘Smear campaign’
Initially, there were denials from the American side that they had gone into North Korea – and both South Korean media and diplomatic sources said the North’s guards had crossed into Chinese territory to arrest them.
But a few days after their trial, the North’s state media said the two had admitted entering the North and accepted their sentences.
Official news agency KCNA also said they had admitted getting footage for a “smear campaign” about North Korea’s human rights.
Their sentences could potentially have seen the two women working in a prison labour camp in North Korea’s notoriously brutal penal system.
It seems, however, that the two were well-treated and kept in a Pyongyang guest house, with access to consular services provided by Sweden’s embassy in North Korea and allowed to make several phone calls to their families in the US.
It was during these phone calls that the pair said Pyongyang had suggested that a visit by Mr Clinton could secure their freedom, US officials have said.
Analysts say they were probably being kept as bargaining chips to wrest concessions or direct talks with the United States.
But the US has said Mr Clinton did not discuss any other issues other than the women’s freedom during his trip to Pyongyang.
The reporters’ families, and officials in Washington, had urged that Pyongyang keep this case separate from the nuclear issue bedevilling relations between North Korea and the US.
Washington insists it will only hold bilateral talks on the nuclear stalemate with Pyongyang under the auspices of the stalled six-party negotiations – which also include South Korea, Japan, China and Russia.
Tensions in the region have soared in recent months, as North Korea has conducted a nuclear test and fired a long-range missile, drawing widespread international condemnation.
Out of all of this, what totally blows my mind? Al Gore is the chairman of Current TV!? I fucking love Current. Not that I dislike Al Gore (except for the saving the polar bears part. Seriously, fuck polar bears), but now I just feel weird. How did I not know this before? Well, I guess they’re not going to cut into a show and just be like, “HEY! Al Gore owns us”!
Current is still freaking awesome though. In case you’ve missed the boat on that one, Current TV is an alternative news channel with a great deal of viewer created content. Everything from news to podcasts to commercials…they do it all.
Check it out sometime. It’s a nice change of pace from the regular news.
Current TV
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sheep in the Big City
Oh, Sheep In the Big City, how I miss you. While it ran for only two seasons, this was one of the greatest shows ever. At the time, it was the highest rated premier of a Cartoon Network original series.
Created by Mo Willems, Sheep In the Big City is exactly that...a Sheep in the big city. Fed up with Farmer John and rural life, Sheep goes to the big city! The lights! The buildings! The sounds! The...poodles? In the big city, Sheep meets Swanky, an upperclass poodle with a coat simply to die for.
Amongst trying to track down his canine love, Sheep is being hunted by The Secret Military Organization's henchmen, Angry Scientist, Private Public and General Specific, for their sheep-powered ray gun. (If I were to build a ray gun, it would be sheep-powered, no doubt.)
This show is absolutely bizarre and I really don't think it was made for children. So much humor lost on those young ones. Sheep In the Big City regularly breaks down the fourth wall by making numerous references to the show's script, structure, and premise.
Example: After finally catching Sheep, General Specific brings him to the lab to be hooked up to the sheep-powered ray gun. Angry Scientists then admits that the ray gun is actually not ready because he never thought that they would actually capture Sheep, with it "being so contrary to the set-up of the show".
I miss the good old days of Cartoon Network, with their snarky attitude and mischievously inappropriate content...and Sheep In the Big City. They never even put out a DVD. I am forced the watch the same episode featured on a Powerpuff Girls DVD that I picked up at the Record Exchange, FOR A DOLLAR! (Gotta love that place.)
Some Sheep In the Big City for your enjoyment:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YPuFPvuwLY&hl=en&fs=1&]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrwgFN0_Re0&hl=en&fs=1&]
AND! The RANTING SWEDE!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3dmpMmF17o&hl=en&fs=1&]
(See pictures for links on Sheep In the Big City!)
And to see what Mo Willems is up to these days, check out his site, here.
Created by Mo Willems, Sheep In the Big City is exactly that...a Sheep in the big city. Fed up with Farmer John and rural life, Sheep goes to the big city! The lights! The buildings! The sounds! The...poodles? In the big city, Sheep meets Swanky, an upperclass poodle with a coat simply to die for.
Amongst trying to track down his canine love, Sheep is being hunted by The Secret Military Organization's henchmen, Angry Scientist, Private Public and General Specific, for their sheep-powered ray gun. (If I were to build a ray gun, it would be sheep-powered, no doubt.)
This show is absolutely bizarre and I really don't think it was made for children. So much humor lost on those young ones. Sheep In the Big City regularly breaks down the fourth wall by making numerous references to the show's script, structure, and premise.
Example: After finally catching Sheep, General Specific brings him to the lab to be hooked up to the sheep-powered ray gun. Angry Scientists then admits that the ray gun is actually not ready because he never thought that they would actually capture Sheep, with it "being so contrary to the set-up of the show".
I miss the good old days of Cartoon Network, with their snarky attitude and mischievously inappropriate content...and Sheep In the Big City. They never even put out a DVD. I am forced the watch the same episode featured on a Powerpuff Girls DVD that I picked up at the Record Exchange, FOR A DOLLAR! (Gotta love that place.)
Some Sheep In the Big City for your enjoyment:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YPuFPvuwLY&hl=en&fs=1&]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrwgFN0_Re0&hl=en&fs=1&]
AND! The RANTING SWEDE!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3dmpMmF17o&hl=en&fs=1&]
(See pictures for links on Sheep In the Big City!)
And to see what Mo Willems is up to these days, check out his site, here.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The League of Super Evil
Be afraid, be slightly afraid!
The League of Super Evil is SUPER AWESOME! This brand spanking new cartoon started on Cartoon Network about a month ago and it's freaking hysterical.
The League of Super Evil (or L.O.S.E. for short) consists of four main dysfunctionally evil characters:
Voltar: Like a cross between Invader Zim and GIR, Voltar is hell bent on world domination and is incredibly, incredibly stupid. I must say that he does have a great evil-villain laugh, though. Voltar is the leader of L.O.S.E. and does most of the evil plot making, I'm not saying SUCCESSFUL evil plots, but evil plots nonetheless. Also, he wears a helmet and pees purple. Why? I don't know, but I like it.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECYH0bHSrS0&hl=en&fs=1]
Doktor Frog: Dr. Frog is the mad scientist of the crew and seems to have some deep seeded fucked-up-ness about him. Perhaps it's from having badly functioning 3-fingered robotic hands. I bet it's really frustrating to pick up a penny with those bad boys. He's the dark, mysterious, and possibly homicidal one of the group. Bonus: slightly foreign accent...key to being an evil supervillain!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctnK6SoMTds&hl=en&fs=1]
Red Menace: Once a Siberian Farmboy, Red is now the muscled henchman of L.O.S.E. Don't be afraid though, Red only uses his "anvil-sized fists of judgment" on truly evil people. How Red really fits into L.O.S.E., I'm not so sure. Perhaps he'll develop a little more evilness as the series progresses.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktCfeedy6E0&hl=en&fs=1]
Doomageddon: Once I get a new pet, it's name will be Doomageddon, end of story. Doomageddon is a partially retarded hellhound. While he can shrink, teleport, grow, and turn invisible, he's incredibly clumsy and drools a lot.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd-OXi0nGBQ&hl=en&fs=1]
Then, there's the henchbots...
Named 17 and 32, the henchbots of L.O.S.E. frequently malfunction and fall apart. They're kind of like the Kenny's of L.O.S.E....they die ALL THE DAMN TIME. They do have the super awesome job of providing Voltar's evil theme music. However, most of the time, they just play what they want to play. They seem to have an odd fondness for polka.
I love this show. I have a severely twisted sense of humor.
You should check it out!
The League of SUPER EVIL!!!!!
The League of Super Evil is SUPER AWESOME! This brand spanking new cartoon started on Cartoon Network about a month ago and it's freaking hysterical.
The League of Super Evil (or L.O.S.E. for short) consists of four main dysfunctionally evil characters:
Voltar: Like a cross between Invader Zim and GIR, Voltar is hell bent on world domination and is incredibly, incredibly stupid. I must say that he does have a great evil-villain laugh, though. Voltar is the leader of L.O.S.E. and does most of the evil plot making, I'm not saying SUCCESSFUL evil plots, but evil plots nonetheless. Also, he wears a helmet and pees purple. Why? I don't know, but I like it.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECYH0bHSrS0&hl=en&fs=1]
Doktor Frog: Dr. Frog is the mad scientist of the crew and seems to have some deep seeded fucked-up-ness about him. Perhaps it's from having badly functioning 3-fingered robotic hands. I bet it's really frustrating to pick up a penny with those bad boys. He's the dark, mysterious, and possibly homicidal one of the group. Bonus: slightly foreign accent...key to being an evil supervillain!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctnK6SoMTds&hl=en&fs=1]
Red Menace: Once a Siberian Farmboy, Red is now the muscled henchman of L.O.S.E. Don't be afraid though, Red only uses his "anvil-sized fists of judgment" on truly evil people. How Red really fits into L.O.S.E., I'm not so sure. Perhaps he'll develop a little more evilness as the series progresses.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktCfeedy6E0&hl=en&fs=1]
Doomageddon: Once I get a new pet, it's name will be Doomageddon, end of story. Doomageddon is a partially retarded hellhound. While he can shrink, teleport, grow, and turn invisible, he's incredibly clumsy and drools a lot.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd-OXi0nGBQ&hl=en&fs=1]
Then, there's the henchbots...
Named 17 and 32, the henchbots of L.O.S.E. frequently malfunction and fall apart. They're kind of like the Kenny's of L.O.S.E....they die ALL THE DAMN TIME. They do have the super awesome job of providing Voltar's evil theme music. However, most of the time, they just play what they want to play. They seem to have an odd fondness for polka.
I love this show. I have a severely twisted sense of humor.
You should check it out!
The League of SUPER EVIL!!!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Dead Like Me
Dead Like Me is a hilarious comedy starring Ellen Muth as George, the newly dead 18 year old who is having a little trouble coming to terms with being a grim reaper, Mandy Patinkin as Rube, the boss of it all, Callum Blue as Mason, the awfully cute degenerate, and Jasmine Guy as Roxy, the frisky meter maid. The show ran from 2003-2004 on Showtime.
It's a contemporary tale of grim reapers, but not as we know them. In this version, they don't actually wear cloaks and carry scythes, they work as meter maids and temp agents and construction workers and teachers and customer service representatives. They're everywhere! Also, when they take your soul, they empty your pockets and squat in your apartment. Well, you don't need those things and who knew that grim reapers don't get paid!? When it comes to the practical side of things, the reaping of the souls and the escorting in the afterlife, well yeah, they still do that. They just do it with a little more style and flair.
I guess I should start at the beginning. I actually just started this series myself. I've only watched the pilot and the first disc of the season, so I won't even be able to spoil much for you! How 'bout them apples!?
George, the protagonist and narrator, is your typical, unenthusiastic, unmotivated 18 year old living at home with her family including her mother, Joy, her father, Clancy, and her little sister Reggie. After dropping out of college, George then begins working at Happy Time Temporary Services. This is where we meet Delores Herbig, as in her big brown eyes! *vomit* That lady is too happy for ANYONE to bear. On her lunch break that very first, fateful day, George is hit by a toilet seat plummeting toward Earth from the MIR Space Station. Suckass way to die, huh? Hence the nickname, Toilet Seat Girl.
The bummer for George though, is that shortly after death, she is informed that not only will she not be going to the great, big, shiny afterlife; she's going to be a grim reaper. A grim reaper in the "External Influence Department", aka accidents, suicides, and homicides. Understandably, George has some issues with this. For this grim reaper gig, each day, George is given a post-it with someone's name, location, and ETD (estimated time of death). She accompanies Mason on a few assignments, which are never a letdown in the comedy department, then she is finally released to do some assignments on her own.
George's first "assignment" is just a little girl on a train. Who the hell would WANT to take the soul of a little girl!? It is just kinda wrong...and especially for a first assignment. So, needless to say, George doesn't do it...at first. Apparently in Dead Like Me world, if a soul is not taken when the body dies, it rots in there. If the person's body is still alive, the soul withers and dies inside it, thus making terrible people. If this is true, there have been some seriously slacking grim reapers in the world. It would have nice to have someone to blame for all the assholes in this world, though. Secondly, if the body dies and the soul is not removed, you're basically alive, trapped inside a dead shell of a body. Super creepy. So at this point, George gets her first lecture from Rube on why you NEED to take the souls of these people.
Then, George boycotts. Rube slips post-its under her door and she decides that if she doesn't take them, it doesn't count. If there is no skin-to-post-it contact, she's in the clear.
If only that were the case.
I won't get too far into it, as to not spoil anything for you, but chaos ensues and then they end up with a back log of souls to take and it's pretty fucking funny to watch Mandy Patinkin apologizing to the casualties of faulty exercise equipment.
Definitely check this show out. It's funny and macabre and charming all at the same time.
Dead Like Me
It's a contemporary tale of grim reapers, but not as we know them. In this version, they don't actually wear cloaks and carry scythes, they work as meter maids and temp agents and construction workers and teachers and customer service representatives. They're everywhere! Also, when they take your soul, they empty your pockets and squat in your apartment. Well, you don't need those things and who knew that grim reapers don't get paid!? When it comes to the practical side of things, the reaping of the souls and the escorting in the afterlife, well yeah, they still do that. They just do it with a little more style and flair.
I guess I should start at the beginning. I actually just started this series myself. I've only watched the pilot and the first disc of the season, so I won't even be able to spoil much for you! How 'bout them apples!?
George, the protagonist and narrator, is your typical, unenthusiastic, unmotivated 18 year old living at home with her family including her mother, Joy, her father, Clancy, and her little sister Reggie. After dropping out of college, George then begins working at Happy Time Temporary Services. This is where we meet Delores Herbig, as in her big brown eyes! *vomit* That lady is too happy for ANYONE to bear. On her lunch break that very first, fateful day, George is hit by a toilet seat plummeting toward Earth from the MIR Space Station. Suckass way to die, huh? Hence the nickname, Toilet Seat Girl.
The bummer for George though, is that shortly after death, she is informed that not only will she not be going to the great, big, shiny afterlife; she's going to be a grim reaper. A grim reaper in the "External Influence Department", aka accidents, suicides, and homicides. Understandably, George has some issues with this. For this grim reaper gig, each day, George is given a post-it with someone's name, location, and ETD (estimated time of death). She accompanies Mason on a few assignments, which are never a letdown in the comedy department, then she is finally released to do some assignments on her own.
George's first "assignment" is just a little girl on a train. Who the hell would WANT to take the soul of a little girl!? It is just kinda wrong...and especially for a first assignment. So, needless to say, George doesn't do it...at first. Apparently in Dead Like Me world, if a soul is not taken when the body dies, it rots in there. If the person's body is still alive, the soul withers and dies inside it, thus making terrible people. If this is true, there have been some seriously slacking grim reapers in the world. It would have nice to have someone to blame for all the assholes in this world, though. Secondly, if the body dies and the soul is not removed, you're basically alive, trapped inside a dead shell of a body. Super creepy. So at this point, George gets her first lecture from Rube on why you NEED to take the souls of these people.
Then, George boycotts. Rube slips post-its under her door and she decides that if she doesn't take them, it doesn't count. If there is no skin-to-post-it contact, she's in the clear.
If only that were the case.
I won't get too far into it, as to not spoil anything for you, but chaos ensues and then they end up with a back log of souls to take and it's pretty fucking funny to watch Mandy Patinkin apologizing to the casualties of faulty exercise equipment.
Definitely check this show out. It's funny and macabre and charming all at the same time.
Dead Like Me
Friday, March 13, 2009
Making Fiends
So, I'm terribly into this cartoon right now.
Amy Winfrey is a damn funny woman.
Making Fiends is the life of Vendetta, an evil little child who has the ability to make fiends which she then uses to terrorize the town of Clamburg. Then Charlotte moves in. Stupid, stupid Charlotte (teehee!).
It started out as a webcartoon on these here intertubes in 2003, and in 2008 became a cartoon on Nickelodeon. I fear for this cartoon, like I feared for Invader Zim when it got popular, but nevertheless, it's still good, macabre fun!
I'm particularly fond of this one:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCDuTi7fWgA&hl=en&fs=1]
"Eat vegetables with every meal,
Or your lips will start to peel,
And your eyeballs will fall out,
And your feet will smell like trout"
And this one:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF7A9pOnoO4&hl=en&fs=1]
Links:
Amy Winfrey
Making Fiends
Amy Winfrey is a damn funny woman.
Making Fiends is the life of Vendetta, an evil little child who has the ability to make fiends which she then uses to terrorize the town of Clamburg. Then Charlotte moves in. Stupid, stupid Charlotte (teehee!).
It started out as a webcartoon on these here intertubes in 2003, and in 2008 became a cartoon on Nickelodeon. I fear for this cartoon, like I feared for Invader Zim when it got popular, but nevertheless, it's still good, macabre fun!
I'm particularly fond of this one:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCDuTi7fWgA&hl=en&fs=1]
"Eat vegetables with every meal,
Or your lips will start to peel,
And your eyeballs will fall out,
And your feet will smell like trout"
And this one:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF7A9pOnoO4&hl=en&fs=1]
Links:
Amy Winfrey
Making Fiends
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